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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27478756">Happy Wife, Happy Life</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/bungigigum/pseuds/bungigigum'>bungigigum</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Old Habits [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>GetBackers</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/M, jackal's on a leash</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 19:55:15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,473</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27478756</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/bungigigum/pseuds/bungigigum</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Akabane has been trying to be good, he really has been. He promised Himiko he would stop antagonizing Ban. But...it's been so long, and she's not here, and what's one little fight? It's not like he's going to kill anyone.</p>
<p>In which Akabane and Ban both learn they can't get away with anything behind Lady Poison's back.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Akabane Kuroudo/Kudou Himiko</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Old Habits [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2007907</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Happy Wife, Happy Life</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Well, well, well, if it isn’t Dr. Jackass. Didn’t expect to see you here,” Ban greets, waltzing in with his hands shoved casually in his pockets.</p>
<p>Ginji is somewhat hiding behind him, as if the two aren’t a packaged deal.</p>
<p>Akabane grins, watching them come closer. He was quite comfortable in the plush armchair by the warm fire, almost preferring the calm to any sort of combat. But just the very sight of his two favorite playthings is enough to snap him out of such silly thoughts. “Same could be said of you. I thought you said you took a job out of town?”</p>
<p>“Change of plans,” Ban shrugs. He pulls a piece of paper out of his shirt pocket and unfolds it, saying, “Hevn said she needed her very best for this job, then she tried to hire Shido, Mr. Bananas For Brains, as if he’s better than me, so we rearranged our schedules a bit. No big deal.”</p>
<p>“That’s very unprofessional, Midou, putting your other employer out like that.”</p>
<p>“My other employer was Kyoji Kagami who wanted us to get back his beloved compact mirror he thinks he lost on his precious yacht. I think it can wait. Besides! This seemed like a lot more fun.” He shakes the paper for reference. Written on it is a riddle, presented to them when they entered the mansion. They’ve already completed the first two tasks, and now they’re on to the third: to find the key that opens a mystery door that will lead them to their fourth task. In some ways it’s like a scavenger hunt, in others it’s like an oversized escape room, and the prize at the end is ¥100000 — as well as an ornate frame that actually belongs to Hevn’s client, hence the need for a recovery team. Ban couldn’t pass it up, and Ginji’s always loved puzzles — though that’s not to say he’s very good at them.</p>
<p>“The bigger question is, what are <em>you</em> doing here?” Ginji asks before realizing that speaking will give away his location behind Ban. And into chibi-form he goes!</p>
<p>Akabane smiles again. “You know how I love a good game.”</p>
<p>“The third task got you stumped then?” Ban snorts. “How hard can it be to find a key...”</p>
<p>Akabane glares at him through the slit in his hat. “Oh no, I found the key a while ago. I found the mystery door as well. I was simply taking my time — what’s the rush after all?”</p>
<p>Not entirely true. He was thoroughly enjoying the peace and quiet and the crackling fire, so much so that he almost forgot he was playing a game. But he’ll keep that to himself.</p>
<p>“You know if you’re not first to finish you lose, right? There’s no prize for second place.”</p>
<p>“Money means nothing to me, this isn’t news.”</p>
<p>“Yet money means everything to your wife, I wonder what she’d say about —“</p>
<p>“Besides, it’s a good thing I did hang back,” Akabane interrupts him, crossing the room swiftly to stand a few feet away from the two. “It’s been a while since we last fought, you know.”</p>
<p>Ban blinks. “You want to fight me.”</p>
<p>“You or him,” Akabane gestures between a frowning Ban and a now crying Ginji. “I’m not picky.”</p>
<p>“No.”</p>
<p>“What?”</p>
<p>“We’re not going to fight you,” Ban shrugs. “I promised Himiko I’d do my part to behave, and if I remember right you promised the same.”</p>
<p>“I did. I promised I would do my best. However...” A set of scalpels flicker out of his hand, glowing to life between his fingers. “I’m only human.”</p>
<p>Ban, in all honesty, has been itching to punch the good doctor in his smug face for quite a while now.</p>
<p>Akabane seems to know this. “If you win, I’ll give you the key. How about that?”</p>
<p>“You have it? Prove it.”</p>
<p>Akabane pulls the key out of his coat pocket and holds it up. “I’ll even tell you which door it’s for.”</p>
<p>Ban feels like he should maybe pretend to mull over the offer, but it’s just too sweet a deal to pass up and he’s in a hurry. “Fine. Since you’re still such a glutton for pain.”</p>
<p>“I only dish what I can take.”</p>
<p>Akabane is on him in a flash, a full set of knives brandished from each hand, careful not to make eye contact while Ban is careful to avoid getting sliced and diced.</p>
<p>Ginji — still chibi, still crying — rolls out of the way and under a nearby loveseat, begging the two to stop and just be friends — “You’re family now, after all!”</p>
<p>What gets them to stop, however, is not Ginji’s whining or the end of their battle. It comes from a familiar clearing of the throat, a familiar shoe tap.</p>
<p>Akabane, who is now on top of Ban, a knife pressed to his throat, and sporting a black eye, while Ban now has a cut lip. The two freeze, both seeing their lives flash before their eyes before turning their heads to face a very disappointed looking Himiko.</p>
<p>Disappointed, actually may not be the right word for it. She’s… She’s livid.</p>
<p>Akabane jumps up, scrambling off his prey and retracting his knives and trying to act like nothing happened. Ban gets up almost as fast, running a hand through his spiked hair and stuttering out a slew of excuses and swears.</p>
<p>“What, uh. What are you doing here?” Akabane asks. “I didn’t think you were working tonight.”</p>
<p>“Hevn called me last minute. She didn’t think Dumb and Dumber were going to be able to pull it off. Shido’s here too. The question is, why are you here?”</p>
<p>“That’s what I asked!” Ginji squeaks, rolling out from under the loveseat.</p>
<p>Akabane doesn’t have an answer for that. Well he does, he’s just much too nervous to get it out. Two common phrases keep playing in his mind: Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, and Happy Wife, Happy Life. And Himiko, right now, is far from happy.</p>
<p>Ginji, on the other hand, has now exited the chibi form and looks much more relaxed, no longer cowering but still nervous for the aftermath, though grateful he’s not the one in Lady Poison’s crosshairs.</p>
<p>“I thought you said you weren’t going to fight anymore,” she says. “I don’t like being put in the middle, we went over this several times —“</p>
<p>“I tried to, you know, stand by that, but he’s the one that started it and, you know me, I finish things, and you know —“ Ban rambles, trying to clear his name as best he can.</p>
<p>“Oh please, you wanted it too.”</p>
<p>“Please never say that to me again.”</p>
<p>Akabane smirks. He knows he’s in the doghouse and he needs to make this right (and fast) but he still can’t help himself. “You’re lucky, I wasn’t done with you yet.”</p>
<p>“<em>Kuroudo</em>,” Himiko warns.</p>
<p>“And you’re unlucky. Himiko’s, like, the only person on the planet I walk on eggshells around,” Ban says. “Woman holds a grudge like no other.”</p>
<p>“Well you’ve given her every reason to,” Akabane rolls his eyes.</p>
<p>“I’m right here,” Himiko says, loudly and flatly, her hands on hips and a firm frown on her face. “You’re both unlucky.”</p>
<p>“Wait,” Ginji says suddenly, “if Himiko and Akabane are both here...then who’s watching their kids?”</p>
<p>Akabane’s face falls. Bloodlust rotting his brain, he hadn’t even thought of that. He looks to Himiko and mumbles, “Well, I thought you were, uhm. Going to be home. And.”</p>
<p>“Natsume and Paul are watching them, but Natsume has to be home by 11 and Paul said something about closing early.”</p>
<p>“Ooh, yikes,” Ban chimes back in. “Take it from me, that man is no stranger to kicking people out to the curb.”</p>
<p>“He’s done it to us plenty of times!” Ginji adds, almost sounding like it’s something to be proud of.</p>
<p>“To two grown men who just keep adding to their tab, sure, not to two toddlers,” Akabane glares at them both. His expression softens when he looks back to Himiko. “I guess that means you want me to leave then.”</p>
<p>“Seeing as you’re here for fun and I’m here for work, yeah. I want you to leave.”</p>
<p>“Ouch!” Ban beams. “Hey Jackal, you know what ouch rhymes with? Couch!”</p>
<p>Akabane, who was leaving, freezes. He looks to Himiko for permission, and when she rolls her eyes, giving him a slight nod, he turns back around and punches Ban in the face.</p>
<p>Ban begins a flurry of swears and threats and insults, but Akabane ignores him, kissing Himiko on the cheek, muttering something about it being worth it, and leaving without another word.</p>
<p>“You really know how to pick em, Himiko,” Ban says, rubbing his sore, swollen jaw. “You could’ve done so much better.”</p>
<p>“You asked for that last one.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Akabane and Himiko forever, honestly. And imagine how cute their kids would be!!! Hoping to make this the first in a series of fun little They're Married and Ban Hates It but He and Akabane Try To Work On Their Relationship one shots. :) &lt;3</p></blockquote></div></div>
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